The Edinburgh Festival Fringe is drawing to a close next week, having been one of the most successful and greenest festivals yet – thanks to so many acts and attendees liftsharing to and around the capital!
TV comedy channel have named the official Top 10 jokes of the festival, including crowning comedian Darren Walsh with the overall funniest gag of 2015. You can read the official table below;
1. I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free
2. Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West
3. Surely every car is a people carrier?
4. What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter
5. If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go
6. Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas
7. Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day
8. The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves
9. Clowns divorce. Custardy battle
10. They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for
A panel of judges picked a shortlist of the top jokes, and then put them to the public to pick the funniest. Darren’s one-liner received 23% of the vote!
Of course, there were originally more than 10 that made the final few, and the judges wanted to grant honourable mentions to the following;
“I never lie on my CV…because it creases it.” – Jenny Collier
“If you don’t know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.” – Ian Smith
“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.” –Tom Ward
“Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I’m reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.” – Gyles Brandreth
“Let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means ‘me’.” –Ally Houston
“Earlier this year I saw “The Theory of Everything” – loved it. Should’ve been called “Look Who’s Hawking”, that’s my only criticism.” – James Acaster
The Festival Fringe is still going strong, with shows taking place until 31st August. You can see who still has tickets available at the official EdFringe website, and organise your travel there with Liftshare!
Author Lex Barber